"Tu as Raison"
“Tu as raison.”
The first time I heard him say this I didn’t know what he was saying in words, but I felt the energy of it; this is the essence of our relationship, of our love…of real love.
Energy.
In the space between our languages lives chemistry, energy, Spirit and so much love. When we go there, no words in any language matter.
It wasn’t until language fell away that I experienced love for the very first time in a way that isn’t possible with the noise I’ve piled on in intellect, a love for words, even poetry and creativity, in my work, service, devotion…for my entire life.
When language isn’t possible a bigger force becomes more present.
This obvious absence was never a problem for us; his apology for not being able to speak better English in our first exchange prompted my suggestion that we find a universal language to speak…and we’ve been speaking that language ever since.
I catch glimpses sometimes of the care I used to give to being understood in words in my past life; in a life where what I do matters more than who I am or what I’m becoming. I catch a pang here and there of what might be “lost” in this absence, but then I realize the rubric I’m measuring this loss with and it is a measurement that doesn’t relate to this love, to this connection.
Words have become superfluous, they are icing on the cake.
What matters is how he looks at me, his touch, his full presence and the safety I feel in my entire nervous system. What matters is the palpable polarity, and constant choosing of this electricity in devotion to what we naturally have. What matters is how easy things are when words don’t get in the way.
Ego has fallen away, the mind is absent a bit…and our hearts are in high practice with each other. This is true devotion; trust and surrender.
“You are right,” comes so easy to him and is a testament of the cherishing that is happening.
I felt this cherishing long before I understood the words, this is the nature and subtlety of energy if we listen close enough and trust what we feel.