The Big Pause: Re-Entry

Photo Credit: @gluemyart

After Burning Man it’s called “decompression,” after the pandemic in Paris it’s called “deconfinement.”

Yes, I know spell check, that is not officially an English word. When I first saw the word used earlier this week I had a similar reaction that I had to the word “confinement.” Makes sense, and the French like to be practical, that any un-doing of the confinement would be de-ing it. So, here we are on day three of “Deconfinement" in Paris.

After my first Burning Man I walked around a little dazed and avoided people for a few weeks because I had no idea how to answer the question, “so, how was it?” And frankly the question seemed trite; especially considering the magnitude of my experience.

Am I the only person mourning already?

I know the social ones needed extra love while we went into the big pause, and continued to need extra support for their lack of connection, but now I think it’s time to support those of us who may want to wander about gently, or not at all. I’m actually fantasizing about taking a whole month off once the world turns back on because I’ve been working harder than ever these last few months supporting women and their deep work.

Saint Tropez is on my list…a modest Air B&B tucked into the little town of Ramatuelle,a place I first discovered with a French lover years ago, and one on my list to rewrite the narrative for. I like to do this with places that stay in my heart. I rewrite the story sans the co-star, and as I do this the place opens up to me in ways that I may have missed the first time.

I was honked at by an impatient driver on the first day Paris woke up - just like that, it jolted me right back into a swirling world where deep breaths don’t exist.

A few days ago the silence was broken on my sweet Marais street with a pre-dawn serenade by a man who challenged my compassion and tested the acoustics with a full range that included some notes I’m not sure should ever be sung again.

The sidewalks are back to normal as far as I can tell, I’ve been bumped a couple of times and there’s a certain way the French take up space on the sidewalk that has never allowed for social distancing - there is one rule here and I’ve learned it the hard way: get out of the way.

Masks are abundant, I bought a fashion mask today just for fun and a few creative selfies. The woman who sold it to me was so proud to share that the fabric is light so that you can breathe through it - “Génial!” as they say.

I’m taking note, masks are indeed a personal expression of personality and fashion at the moment, what else would you expect in Paris?

And on the subject of masks, eyebrows are extra important. Eyes and eyebrows, these are your two communication tools and for someone who reads lips to try to decipher a new language she is trying to learn, this is torture.

Also, my face recognition on my phone does not recognize me with my mask on.

Gloves, hand sanitizer, and distance…this is the new Paris. You cannot enter any establishment at the moment without having to sanitize your hands, one boutique I entered made me put on plastic gloves. Plastic sheets separate cashiers from customers and only take-away food and coffee is allowed.

In a neighborhood like mine you can easily take stock of the businesses hit hard and not making it back. Juxtaposed with the fact that one of the busiest streets in Paris during the pandemic is in my neighborhood. The line for “à emporter” or take-out for Miznon, Alfi and Schwartz Deli to name a few never stopped in all of these weeks, and the drivers, cyclists and scooter drivers were part of the cue to take orders all around the city. And somehow L’As Du Falafel was closed and just recently figured out their “à emporter “ plan and the line is back to normal - as if the pandemic never happened.

I’m going to need some time for my re-entry.

When you create a routine that is quiet, and controlled, and cozy it’s pretty nice. I may need a bit of extra time to walk among the noise, to move with the crowd, to share my space again. And while I’m proud to say I’ve been studying my French every day for weeks, I’m going to need some extra time with this too: speaking to a real person versus Duo or my audio textbook is going to require an adjustment.

So be patient with me please, Paris?

I never felt “confined” and I want to say very politely “non, merci” to the “deconfinement” happening. I’ll make my way gently while the buzz happens around me, and I’ll be missing the quiet a little bit…maybe I’m not the only one?