Freedom

She waded in in her light blue string bikini bottoms with her hips wanting freedom and her long soft brown hair kissing her bare back just enough for her bottom to feel the cool water of the Mediterranean and I watched her sway there for what seemed like forever.

I could hear her soft melody as I watched her hips sway ever so slightly; it was…she was…a mudra in that moment and I felt akin and connection and drawn to her all at once.

Her simple and absolute feminine beauty; a subtle and true beacon.

Into the horizon she gazed with fixed eyes, her movements an offering of kindness, and I could feel her heart from where I sat at the edge of the water, and a flood of emotions touched mine.

Moments earlier as I was slipping out of my favorite softly loved-in Levi shorts, I felt the American in me as my little white tank top begged to be slipped off too in the hot sun to bare my naked skin; it was a quick thought but I felt it.

The conditioning.

I felt a breath come, then centering as I peeked outside of myself to see the plage was dotted with women doing what they do in the South of France on the beach, and I met the peeking with my desire to be in this freedom too.

Free.

And as I watched this sister sway her hips in the sea, my freedom matching hers, I felt proud of my aging body with its cancer scars and the stories it holds and has overcome. I felt brave for putting aside the program that is not mine and following my heart. And, I felt sad for the women who don’t have the privilege of this freedom, or who might not feel safe or happy in their bodies…and that’s when the memory of Liz rushed in and how she told me once that she just wanted to be back in her healthy body again, that she had a dream the night before that she was in her healthy body and dancing and so happy…

I felt the tears silently fall down my cheeks, in a second overwhelmed by all of it…and then I slipped into the sea of tears and floated on my back with my ears just below the surface and my freedom floating there, floating there, floating there…

My heart goes out to the women of Iran today as I type this, may we all have the courage to express our own desires of freedom and may this freedom be met with love in every way.