Ten Lessons in 2020: Sisterhood + Service

Photo: Luciana Aranha

Fifteen months…this is the exact amount of time in this life that I have been without a sister.

My sister Val came three months after my first birthday, I was destined to be a big sister. Three more sisters came to us after this; the last two, twins who came when Val and I were the perfect age for babysitting and we loved them with our whole hearts…Carolyn is truly in the middle.

One thing is certain when I think about this life and the reason why I am here: sisterhood.

There’s a certain instant responsibility that comes with being the first born, and as I know now my soul requested this incarnation, to these parents, into this family, with these sisters.

I have always been a champion for women, and I have always felt very connected to and honored to be in this womanly body with all of the chaos that comes with it.

Being a woman, in Paris, is my favorite thing about Paris.

There is no competition, no jealousy, no spite, no passive aggressive behavior, no game playing or mean girl behavior…as a matter of fact, I believe in a very old-fashion and sacred girl code where we honor each other as divine creatures and this cherishing shows in my heart work with women, and the way I conduct my life - and it is reflected in the women I sit in circle with and call into my spaces.

I cherish women.

This year was a year of deepening into my serving of women. 2020 created the perfect backdrop for my work: going within and having the time and technology to do it was the theme for the year. As a result I served more women than ever before this year. I also lost more sisters this year than any year in the past - this happens as we get more clear, as we evolve, as we step into new skin.

This year I learned exactly where my professional boundaries are with sisters in my space. This year I learned that some sisters cannot be there for you when you need them, and that others who you thought couldn’t can. I witnessed holy tears, hearts break wide open, huge a-ha moments, life-changing awareness, humility, grace, leadership, faith and devotion, compassion, empathy…love in only the way women can love other women. I was blown away by the courage, the absolute courage it took so many women I walked with this year to step into themselves and rearrange some things. I bowed deeply in service to Black Sisters and offered my heart, my wisdom, and my time to them and learned that love, is love, is love and it feels so divine when we allow it. I prayed with women of all faiths, and I lit candles for women that I wanted to offer loving kindness to.

I know that there are two important times in this life: when you are born, and when you realize why.

My work is so certain that I know it is why I am here.

Today I sat in the last circle for 2020; it is a circle of incredible women. We took turns loving: loving all of the things that we love. This practice led by a sister I’ve been walking with most of this year, in a space that I birthed for all of us to be in our fullness, and as I looked around the circle I cried at the beauty of the moment, and how rare it is to feel so fully aligned with the reason of this life.

What an absolute honor it is to be here for this reason.

Thank you 2020, and thank you to each sister on my path with me.