How...What?

I teach manifesting; not just with my words, but with my actions in life.  I've manifested both things that I love and things that have helped me grow.  I've been in my flow and so far from it.  I feel in my vortex often and am blown away by the abundance and magic in there, and I've felt so far from it and full of lack and scarcity.

Contrast in my life has been a blessing, a teacher, and creating incredible clarity for me.

This, and every single time I manifest something out of thin air that I really, really want, I stand in it dazed and pinching myself.  Standing in a puddle of power dripping off of me as if it's not mine or coming from me and my spirit.

This is how I've felt for the last week or so, dazed.  I know I will wake up and I'm giving myself time and gentle movement towards this.

In my mind manifesting isn't an exact science, not a one-size-fits-all, and certainly a moving and breathing, living practice.  There are however a few non-negotiables with manifesting.  First, you cannot trick energy or vibration.  In other words, you cannot say you want something and be thinking all kinds of thoughts counter to this: "I'm not sure," "I don't feel deserving,"  "I feel stuck," "Why hasn't it happened yet," "I'm out of my flow..."  The trouble is most of us don't even know we are thinking these things.  We think these things, and many more.  And the things we think sync up with the vibration(s) of what we are attracting.

The second non-negotiable is focusing on the how, it is not up to us to figure out HOW the manifestation will happen.  Our entire job is to dream and feel, dream and feel, dream and feel...and the feeling part is: feel as if you already have it.  Visualize it, in every detail as if you can taste it, see it, smell it...

In my work I've seen several turning points where this path is presented: a student clearly defines something they want to manifest, and the student gets stuck by either focusing on the HOW or thinking counter thoughts to the very thing they want to manifest.  

A how focus takes us out of having and into wanting.  The trick to manifesting is HAVING.  Counter thoughts send out vibrations that attract like vibration: thinking unworthy thoughts, unworthy vibes coming your way, thinking fear, fear coming your way, thinking scarcity, scarcity coming your way...etc, etc, etc.

Let's go back to the beginning of this post, the very first sentence about how I am living proof of what I teach.  As you know from the last post, I got a clear message from my heart in the Uber in Paris that it wanted to live in Paris.  I thought through the How and fear and focused on the feeling of living in Paris.  I dreamed.  I had fantasies.  I started telling people I wanted it.  I started telling myself I wanted it.  So much so that it began to feel eminent.  And then I trusted.  I trusted divine timing.

And less than one month ago, out of the blue, my French landlord who rents me her perfect studio in the perfect spot in Paris for the month of August sent me a note telling me the studio was suddenly available and that she needed help renting it with the August promise to me.  She asked if I could share the link around and help her rent it for the other months, she used a photo I had taken the summer before from the balcony as the photo for her Craigslist listing.

One year, she wanted one year.  I can honestly say I made a quick decision with my heart as soon as I read her note, it was faster than time my decision.  Heart decisions are speedy.

But I still put up resistance, old programming.  I asked my mom who I was spending time with when I got Marie's note, I spun thinking about hows and life stuff and real details that don't really matter.  In the end all of it faded away, in the most magical ways.  My subletters were happy with more time, the one-way ticket was only $288, Marie agreed to a start of 6 months, and the list goes on and on and on about how the Universe made it so, so easy to say yes.  Literally, and systematically, every single how hurdle dissolved before my eyes as soon as I committed.

Flow.

Flow feels easy.  It feels so easy that the conditioned response is, "something must be wrong," or "I must be missing something."  Nope.  That's flow, baby.  Easy, happy, spirit...life on the other side of fear.

It's Day 7 of LIVING in Paris and I'm still in a daze, slipping in the power dripping off of me.  Still on guard, playing it safe, walking lightly, keeping close...still.  Old programming runs deep, samaskara takes time to fill in.  Comments like "how did you do that?" or "why are you there?" take me to pragmatic places, to time, space and reality that aren't my rules.

I'm here because I manifested this.  I'm here because I heard my heart clearly and because I bravely followed it without fear or turning away.  I'm here because this is where I want to be.

Manifested out of thin air...with only the effort of dreaming.