“By nature men regard women with love and trust, seeking intimacy and are willing to cherish them.” (p. 84) Reflect on this in your journal, how does this statement apply to your experience?

Men protect what they cherish which creates a feeling of safety. (p. 85)

What happens to a man when he is castrated?

“Even in a moment of rage or fury, most men have more concern for our safety than anything else.” (p. 86) Do you agree with this statement? Why or why not?

“You take a vow, renouncing it. That is the beginning of embracing the Queen’s Code, which in addition to being a kind of secret code, is a code of honor and a code of conduct. Then you learn how to live from that vow, developing a new understanding of men and a new set of reactions to men.” (p. 101)

Not trusting men: emasculating them. (p. 107) Contemplate whether this is true for you and how it relates to your life.

“Everything about women can overwhelm men…” (p. 122) Reflect on this in the book, what does this bring up for you?

When we emasculate a man: stop, apologize and do better next time. (p. 124)

Will you take the vow? “I give up the right to castrate men forever.” (Take the vow by emailing Alison Armstrong: alison@understandmen.com with the subject “Laying Down the Sword”)