“We kept gazing into each other’s eyes, rest was history, we kept talking in body language.” ― Pushpa Rana
WEEK TEN: SEXY TALK: INTIMACY IN PARTNERSHIP
INTENTION
One of my favorite things about the “sexy talk” chapter in The Queen’s Code is the opportunity for deep approval of ourselves, and an expanded idea of permission with regard to our sexuality and intimacy. Yes, this is a chapter about understanding our partners better, but the bigger awareness for me is what happens within this FOR US. This week we will focus on our own approval, on the deepest approval of ourselves in sexual and sensual ways. “As within, So without…” This week we will explore the idea of “enchantment” and Eros through these deep approval practices.
daily practice for this week:
Gazing Practices - This week I am offering three “gazing” practices to drop us into deeper approval of our bodies, intimacy and ourselves as woman, feminine and sexual, creational creatures. The first practice is a simple but profound “Eye Gazing Practice.” Find a mirror and set a timer for one full minute. Gaze into your eyes in the mirror and just notice what thoughts you hear, and what emotions you feel. The second practice is a “Body Gazing Practice.” Begin with a dark room and a full-length mirror. Get naked and approach the mirror. Begin gazing into the mirror and gaze at yourself from crown to toes; notice what thoughts you hear, and what emotions you feel. The next night light a candle and do the same practice; just one candle. The next night turn on one small lamp. The next morning, do this practice in the morning light, in early daylight… How does the increasing light change your thoughts, your emotions? What comes up for you in each practice and throughout the week? The third practice is a “Yoni Gazing Practice.” With a small mirror, gaze at your yoni each day. Notice what thoughts you hear, and what emotions you feel. Add a short journaling session to each of these practices for additional support and integration.
BONUS: These are “gazing” practices, not intended to be movement and/or pleasure practices. If you feel inspired to add touch, or dancing or movement you can do this, however I’m inviting you to first experience the practices above without this added layer. For those of you in the SOFTEN Sanctuary, you can find a 40-Day Yoni Gazing Practice with guided questions, etc. to amplify this practice if you’d like to stay with it longer than a week.
where will you place your devotion this week?
“There is no journey of the Feminine without devotion.” Each week I will be asking you to share where you will be placing your devotion for the week. You have three choices: Your Higher Self, on God/The Divine (as you call it), or on The Masculine.
felt sense for the week:
Each week we will focus our attention on the practice of allowing ourselves to be felt. For many of us this practice includes learning to articulate how we feel in any given moment, and learning to trust our bodies to tell us how we feel, and having the courage to take action (mas)/or move (fem) from here. The very first step to this forever practice is allowing ourselves to FEEL, so that we can feel it and trust it for ourselves. Be prepared to enter our circle this week by sharing how you are arriving, in a felt sense.
This week I invite you to FEEL: Sensual, Sexual, Enchanting, Approval, Softening + Love
altar + tools:
Each week I will be inviting you to consider the ways you incorporate the Feminine element of “the sacred” into your life; this is completely, uniquely YOUR way. I will be sharing things each week to inspire you, please find your own ways to deepen in here and I hope that you will share these during our journey so that we may be inspired by you and your practices.
This week I invite you to BE CURIOUS ABOUT:
Your idea of “an altar” and if you feel inspired, please create an altar that will represent this full journey. If you already have an altar, please consider placing something on it that represents your focus for this week.
Consider the “tools” you have to practice and/or to add “the sacred” into your life: candles, rituals, ceremonies, oils, prayers, affirmations, tinctures, cards, crystals… (If this is something you need guidance with please let me know and we can muse together on our Friday call.)
questions for contemplation + discussion
Reviewing your handbook/journal/notes from the sex chapter of The Queen’s Code, which question is the juiciest for you in your current partnership? (Sexy Tank Fillers, Pumpkin Hours, Cover Charge, End Game, Jump Starts…etc.)
How do you practice this conversation + new wisdom in aloneness?
Do you know and feel YOUR truth with these questions? Are you ready to share in partnership?
Which question needs your attention the most?
Where are you with deep approval of your body? Your sexuality/sensuality? Your yoni? (Scale of 1 to 5)
Do you feel enchanting?
What is Eros? Do you feel connected to this feminine gift and energy? What can you create with it?
How do you feel in general about intimacy? Within and without? All levels (eye gazing, body gazing, yoni gazing…)