“The way you relate to your woman’s chaos reflects the way you react to the chaos of the world. If you are the kind of man who needs everything placed neatly in its nice little box, then you will also try to box your woman’s emotions. If you are the kind of man who would rather hire other people to take care of the chaos in your attic, or the chaos of your finances, you would probably also rather leave it to someone else to take care of the chaos of your woman.” ― David Deida
WEEK nine: permission + appointment making
INTENTION
Taking nothing for granted, honoring the single focus and time of men, and being in deep devotion and respect, it is wise to ask permission and make appointments. This week we will discuss the practical aspect of this wisdom. We will meet each other in our unique expressions of discernment regarding whom we offer this respectful practice to (as within, so without). It is my intention to weave in the feminine mastery practice of feminine communication as an invitation to deepen in with embodying “asking for permission/giving it” and “appointment making” from The Queen’s Code.
daily practice for this week:
Feminine Communication - The practical practice of feminine communication is the invitation for this week. In its purest expression it is used when there has been discernment about the man/masculine that you will communicate with. (There may be righteous and rightful reasons, expressions, experiences when/where this practice of communication might fail or not be accessible; what are these for you? And, when does this practice work brilliantly in service TO YOU and to HIM.) In my own personal experience this practice serves me in keeping the polarity alive between these energies when I want to maintain my feminine essence with a man/the masculine (men/women). And, this is often times in service to HIM because it respectfully re-directs his energy back to the masculine.
Here is how it looks: first, you ask him for permission and schedule an official time to address the thing that is bothering you or on your heart. When the time comes you say to him: “You have every right to…(fill in the blank)” this offers an opportunity for you to express your respect to him, first. Then you say, “However, I feel…(fill in the blank)” this reminds you to stay in your heart and allows yourself to be FELT by him. Then you finish by asking him, “What do you think about this?” this directs his attention and energy into his thinking-sense; keeping him in his mind and the masculine. His answer will give you A LOT of information about where he is, who he is and whether or not he can meet you in this invitation of polarity, deeper understanding…and “superiority” as Deida calls it.
BONUS: The deeper practice here is always to stay in your heart with his answer; not to armor up or shield yourself or close your heart or lead with your masculine: this will shut down this feminine communication practice in an instant. The mastery is to continue to direct him into his thinking function - what happens when he answers you from his heart?
where will you place your devotion this week?
“There is no journey of the Feminine without devotion.” Each week I will be asking you to share where you will be placing your devotion for the week. You have three choices: Your Higher Self, on God/The Divine (as you call it), or on The Masculine.
felt sense for the week:
Each week we will focus our attention on the practice of allowing ourselves to be felt. For many of us this practice includes learning to articulate how we feel in any given moment, and learning to trust our bodies to tell us how we feel, and having the courage to take action (mas)/or move (fem) from here. The very first step to this forever practice is allowing ourselves to FEEL, so that we can feel it and trust it for ourselves. Be prepared to enter our circle this week by sharing how you are arriving, in a felt sense.
This week I invite you to FEEL: Respect, Consent, Mastery, Discernment + Expression
altar + tools:
Each week I will be inviting you to consider the ways you incorporate the Feminine element of “the sacred” into your life; this is completely, uniquely YOUR way. I will be sharing things each week to inspire you, please find your own ways to deepen in here and I hope that you will share these during our journey so that we may be inspired by you and your practices.
This week I invite you to BE CURIOUS ABOUT:
Your idea of “an altar” and if you feel inspired, please create an altar that will represent this full journey. If you already have an altar, please consider placing something on it that represents your focus for this week.
Consider the “tools” you have to practice and/or to add “the sacred” into your life: candles, rituals, ceremonies, oils, prayers, affirmations, tinctures, cards, crystals… (If this is something you need guidance with please let me know and we can muse together on our Friday call.)
questions for contemplation + discussion
How do you personally feel about this proposed feminine communication practice? How does it feel in your system? Does it feel accessible to you, resonant?
What would be your personal intention for using this feminine mastery practice?
What men and which experiences “deserve the respect” of appointment making in your life? Is this an across-the-board intention for you or are you more discerning with this? When, where and why if there is discernment?
How does giving yourself permission affect or influence your ability or practice of permission giving and/or asking with men and the masculine?
Be prepared to share a recent example of asking permission and/or making an appointment with a man in your life.
What was the outcome?
How does applying this to YOUR inner masculine look?
Do you feel more powerful or less powerful asking for permission/making an appointment with a man in your life?
Are there any situations or experiences which you feel do NOT benefit from permission and/or asking for an appointment?